Be awkward

It’s OK if you don’t know how to do this. No one does.

This is hard. When someone you care about is grieving, it can be difficult to know what to say or do. Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out. This is awkward for them, too.

It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. Reach out anyway.

Image of two people sitting together looking away from the viewer, one with their arm around the other.

Now, more than ever, your person needs your support. You don’t need to have any answers or give any advice. Your goal is NOT to make things better; it’s to support them in their pain. The most important thing you can do is to simply reach out. Show up. Just be there.

I think the hardest thing for support people to do and maybe the most important thing for support people to do is to be awkward.

It’s ok to show up to your friend or your family member and say, “I have no idea what I’m doing, and I love you enough to look like a fool and ask dumb questions and to feel stupid or weird. I’m willing to feel all of those things because what’s most important to me is you feel cared for.”

So, if you are uncomfortable; be uncomfortable. Name it, right?

What better demonstration of love and care is there for somebody to say, “I am so uncomfortable with this right now and I’m willing to feel uncomfortable so that you feel heard?”