Send some love
It’s never too soon or too late to write a note of support.
Letters or cards with handwritten notes of support will be appreciated for many years to come. When writing your personal note, the following steps can help to outline what you might say:
- Offer your sincere expression of sympathy. (If you don't know what to say, it's OK to admit it.)
- Talk about the person who died by name. Share a memory or what you will miss about them. If you didn’t know them, you could offer to listen to stories about them when the person who is grieving is ready.
- Offer tangible support. Think about something you can offer and will be able to follow through on.
- Close with care.
Better to avoid:
Platitudes such as:
- Everything happens for a reason.
- They are in a better place now
Anything that starts with:
- At least . . .
- You can always . . .
- You should . . .
Other good intentions that usually don't sit well:
- I know how you feel
- It could be worse
- Be strong
- Don't cry
- They wouldn't want you to be . . .
Sympathy cards have come a long way - they're not all pictures of sunsets and with sayings that you would never say. A more modern take is the empathy card. Do a web search for "grief empathy cards" and several great options can be found.